Sweet Silver Lining

just watching the clouds…

Days Gone July 29, 2014

Filed under: raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 11:50 pm

I’m at that odd edge of changing seasons when daydreams of warm summer nights mix with a longing for crisp Autumn days.

Yearnings for the carefree days of my youth have mixed steadily with the memories of college today, all seeming to appear from nowhere. I miss getting ready to go out at 15, wondering what adventures the night would hold, who would appear and play a part, and which moments would forever be forgotten or remembered.

I miss the mixture of thrill and contentment I found walking the halls and courtyards of the old buildings on MSUs campus. I miss being surrounded by genuine curiosity, knowledge, and vibrant youth.

Even the very smells of places from my teenage years and from college have been teasing me today. I spent the last day of a summer bootcamp class at the college gym at lunchtime, and it was so hard to drag myself from it after it was over. I had spent so many fun hours in that gym during my college years. I suppose saying goodbye to that building again brought forth a wistfulness that I hadn’t anticipated.

As I lay here in bed beside my 15 month old and wonder about my own classroom and the beginning of another school year, I couldn’t be further from those old memories. Yet here they are, coming in and going out, keeping me from drifting off into slumber where I’ll awaken to this different season of my life, one in which someday I will probably fondly look back upon wistfully and long to relive for a few more moments.


Unicorn Cookbook Found at the British Library – Medieval and Earlier Manuscripts April 1, 2012

Filed under: food,raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 8:52 pm

roasted unicorn, anyone? it’s sure to be tender!


Unicorn Cookbook Found at the British Library – Medieval and Earlier Manuscripts.


What We Do With Our Days January 27, 2012

Filed under: entertainment,family,raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 10:04 am
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It’s amazing to me how much time people waste, myself included. I stayed off Facebook last night and cleaned the kitchen, washed clothes, and took down our Christmas tree, and I was amazed at how much I got done in a relatively short amount of time. In my defense about the tree, I left it up for ambience so Jamie and I could celebrate Christmas together when he got home last week. It was nice to have everything still Christmasy when he tore into packages. :o) Anyway, I used to spend lots of time sitting at the computer, mostly waiting on Jamie to get on at night so I could chat with him. I guess I could have been doing other things, but I was always afraid I’d miss him getting on. I haven’t spent a whole lot of time on there at all since he’s been home.


I have definitely been realizing just how much time I can waste, even more so now that I’ve worked three jobs at once. Since my night class didn’t make and I’m not traveling almost an hour one way twice a week, I now have a nice chunk of “free time,” probably about 7 extra hours each week, time that I had before I started working at EMCC but really didn’t realize I had. I just wasted it at night, I guess. A big help has been cutting out most television, though. Years ago when I had an 8-5 office job, I’d come home, plant my butt on the couch, and watch probably 3-4 hours of t.v. every night! I just can’t imagine that these days. Of course, that was before I caught the running bug. Another time-sucker was playing computer games, which I rarely do anymore, primarily because I know how addicted I can get to them. I was into the hard-core RPG’s that immerse you in the environment and storyline and could suck away 5 hours, and it would seem like only 30 minutes had gone by! So after staying up late cleaning and putting stuff away, I STILL got on FB for a little social networking fix last night! I know, terrible.


Is there anything wrong with devoting your time to something “useless” like excessive t.v. watching, Internet surfing, or video game playing? Who determines what is useless and what isn’t? It seems to me that stamp collecting is an utterly useless hobby, but to a stamp collector, it is a perfectly valid use of time. It really all comes down to how you view your own time and the activities you do to fill up that time. If gardening is important to you, you devote your time to it. If slaying dragons and giants is your choice of entertainment, then you do that when you have free time. If playing a sport is what you like to do, then you don’t see it as a waste of your time. I guess what becomes an issue is how your activities affect the necessary parts of your life, like spending time with family, cleaning and taking care of the household, getting enough sleep for work, etc. For me, whatever I do that is taking up my free time, I feel like it should have value I can see (artwork, healthier body from working out, writing that I might be able to sale eventually, learning something new, etc.). I guess I am practical that way. I do surf the internet for entertainment and watch movies sometimes. I guess someone who sits in front of a t.v. for hours each night could argue that it’s their “unwinding time” or their choice for entertainment, and I can see that. Most people believe that blogging is a waste of time, but I love expressing myself in that way of I have a little time to write. Sometimes we need to cut each other slack about our choices of activities.


I suppose one of my pet peeves is that people often say, “I don’t have time for that,” when in reality, what they mean is that they don’t MAKE time for it, whatever “it” is. For instance, if you want to learn how to play an instrument, you’ll swap an hour or two each week from television to lessons and practice. Even working three jobs plus doing arts and crafts to consign at a local shop, I still cleaned the house each week and worked out regularly, because those things were important to me. Had violin been more important than working out and improving my health, I would have taken up lessons again in place of exercise.


What got me to thinking about all of this is what I want to do with my free time now that the English Composition class didn’t make. I of course want to spend more time with Jamie, and we have been really enjoying the extra time. When he goes back to work on the night shift, I know I probably won’t see him as much in the evenings, particularly when earlier when he’ll be sleeping. I hope to get my exercise equipment set up in the workshop soon so I can workout without waking him up too early. I’d also like to set aside a little bit of the 7 hours regained each week to get back into writing. The difficult part about that is devoting that time to just that and then sticking to it. I might also pick back up on my violin lessons, particularly if I can find a teacher closer to home. I definitely like to keep myself busy. :o) I feel like I’ve wasted too many years being lazy or doing “hobbies” that seem pointless to me now. Our lives pass us by so quickly, and we waste so much time on things that aren’t important. I want to focus on doing activities that I can find value in, things that I can look back on in 10 or 20 years and say, “I’m really glad I did that,” rather than, “What did I do with all that time I had?”


SAD January 18, 2012

Filed under: hEaLtH,raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 4:30 pm

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is an appropriate acronym, is when you tend to feel depression at certain times of the year, usually during winter. The world is so cold and gray paired with Vitamin D deficiency from too little sunlight, which makes some sensitive people struggle during the winter months. It has even been suggested we have adapted beyond the hibernation response for animals in winter months but still feel its effects. I get so crabby during the cold months. It’s so noticeable that when we do have a few days of unseasonable warm, sunny weather, I feel almost instantly better, like my head has been dark and foggy and someone finally opened some curtains and turned the light on. I think SAD is why I have such a hard time keeping myself motivated during winter. I get completely drained during the winter months. I don’t want to do anything that I generally like to do, such as running, cooking, cleaning (ok, so i don’t really like to do that, BUT it is 10 times more difficult to make myself do it in the winter), painting, writing, etc. In addition to decreased energy, another symptom of SAD is sleeping too much. During Christmas break, I was getting 10 and 12 hours of sleep a day easily. I am still sleeping too much on the weekends and often take long naps in the afternoon during the work week whenever I get a chance. This time of year, I always wonder if I’m showing signs of narcolepsy or have some other serious and undetected illness; I get so lethargic that I could believe it! As soon as the days start warming up and I get my sufficient doses of daily sunshine, I have instant energy and a mood boost. I want to run and garden and clean. I am biding my time until I feel like myself again. I’m tired of feeling SAD. I’m just tired.

Do you feel the effects of SAD each year?


December’s Gone December 27, 2011

Filed under: family,raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 10:39 pm
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it’s so hard to believe that i haven’t posted anything since the first week if this month, and december is pretty much gone, now. i’m so glad it went by fast, though. jamie will be home sometime next month, and i will be so relieved and happy to have him back with me everyday. it will take some getting used to, of course. i have lived alone for the past year, after all. and he’s lived in tents with smelly guys *lol* it’ll take both of us some getting used to, i guess.

christmas went pretty well this year. a lot of my family showed up here, which is out of the ordinary. we usually just have our parents over. in addition to my mom and dad, my two aunts and my brother, his wife, and a niece came, and my cousin, his wife, her sister and baby came, as well. i suppose everyone wanted to surround me with family and make sure i was feeling loved and needed. it did make the day more enjoyable, even though i of course was wishing jamie was there. we all talked about him often, because he was on all of our minds. i told my brother how he loves my deviled eggs and always wants the bowl after i’ve filled the eggs because he likes to eat every last bit of the leftover filling out with a piece of loaf bread. my brother was talking about how he couldn’t wait to come see him when he got in and have a steak with him, and my cousin was talking about having a beer with him and having him over for a birthday party in april. my parents told me to wish him a merry christmas and made sure his gifts from them were under the tree before they left.

so 2012 is only a few days away now. i think there are going to be some major changes coming this next year. i can feel it. maybe that’s why people get so excited about new year’s resolutions. they know that every year can bring big changes, so they try to gain some control of the changes by making plans and setting goals. nothing wrong with that, i guess. plans help us get focused on what we want out of life, which is a good thing. best wishes for a wonderful 2012!


sweet freedom! November 18, 2011

Filed under: raNdOMnesS — dragonfly180 @ 8:24 pm
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yesssssssssss! i have been set free for a whole nine days! oh yeah! i am so excited to be off work for a little while. i was getting pretty irritable and just exhausted. i need this break in a BAD way :) so i already have a list a mile long of things i *want* to do (read: not things i *have* to do!). no stress – just excitement! i plan on getting my tree up in the next few days. i have got to do some major vacuuming first, which i am really happy to finally have some sweet sweet free time to do! i mean, i can’t even convey in exclamation points the amount of excitement i feel right now to just be free for working for a little while. i know working is good for you, but i secretly think i was meant to be a homemaker. too bad we don’t have the ability to live off only jamie’s salary. i think i’d quit in a hot second. i just have so many hobbies that would make me so happy to pursue with fervor and an unlimited amount of free time. yet, i do have that annoying little shopping addiction that definitely wouldn’t be pacified anymore.

speaking of shopping, i have been doing a lot of it this year with jamie gone, so i plan on doing some review posts of some more products i’ve tried lately, so stay tuned for that. better yet, sign up to get email notifications! ;o) now, back to watch my movie in my pj’s! enjoy the thankgiving holiday and watch out for the meanies if you go out on black friday!


Just a little update November 13, 2011

It’s hard to believe how little I’ve blogged here lately. The weeks have been passing by so quickly. In a way, that’s great, because that gets me closer to Jamie’s demobilization. But I’ve made myself so busy that I feel like life is passing me by sometimes. I haven’t run in about 2 weeks. I haven’t had time. I want to do so many hobby things (paint, play my violin, write, watch movies), but I just can’t seem to find the time. As I sit here typing, my mind keeps wandering to the comfort of my welcoming bed. I’ve made myself too busy, I guess. I kind of hope that my EMCC Spring night class doesn’t make. Although the money would be nice for our addition on our house and maybe for baby stuff if we get pregnant when Jamie comes home, rest and relaxation would be nice, also. I am definitely not agreeing to summer classes!

The Yellow Ribbon event will be in Natchez in March this year, so Jamie and I are looking at plantations and B&B’s to see where we need to reserve. There are some really nice places to stay, and I know we’ll have a great time antiquing while down there. Although I really don’t look forward to sitting in Army meetings, it will be a nice little weekend getaway for us.

We had planned on going somewhere when I got in, maybe within the first month of him being home. I had researched cruises and tried to find us something low on the map (that’d be warm enough for snorkeling in the winter/early spring). I had found some that were very reasonably priced, but I have pretty much talked myself out of it. I’d have to ask off work from EMCC to two days, and when you have an intensive class that meets for 2 ½ hours a night, that’s like missing four days instead of two.  I don’t know if we’ll end up going somewhere then or just waiting  until summertime or later. We’ll see. I’m just so ready for something fun and new. I’m sick of looking at these walls all the time and hearing about everyone else’s adventures. If nothing else, maybe he and I can go somewhere over my Spring Break for a few days, maybe to Orlando or Antonio.