I had a workshop today involving the Promethean Board, and I think I knew more about it than the teacher. She is kinda awful at what she does. Anyway, while we waited on her to get things going/fixed/more messed up, I played on Runner’s World and Facebook. I found this cute tongue-in-cheek blog about new “Runners’ Laws” that have just gone into effect. If you are a runner, how much money would you owe in fines right now? I think I’d only owe a few bucks. I do have a 13.1 sticker, and I do love my bullet points!
“Well, I did a bit of detective work and unearthed the following brand-new laws, which are now in effect. You’ve been warned.
* For runners who live in the western United States, it is now illegal to complain about how “cold” it is if the temperature is above 50 degrees F.
* For runners who live in the northern United States, it is illegal to complain about how “hot” it is if the temperature is below 75 degrees F.
* Unless you are a sponsored athlete, wearing a single brand of running gear from head to toe is now punishable by a $50 fine on the first offense. Second offense is $100. On the third offense, your gear is confiscated and a judge may order you to wear athletic apparel from Wal-Mart exclusively for six months.
* In Texas, it is now legal for runners to urinate on any stopped or parked car whose occupant(s) had earlier heckled or menaced them while driving by. (A defecation amendment died in committee.)
* In what is mostly a symbolic federal law, runners wearing headphones or earbuds now have no official right to feel upset when they startle as another runner passes them from behind.
* Any runner with an oval “26.2” or “13.1” sticker on his car is now subject to an annual $1 fee per sticker. Just because.
* Runners who do pushups within 6 feet of any race finish line now face 30 days in jail and/or a fine of up to $1,000.
* Running bloggers are now subject to a bullet-point tax of $5 per bullet point.