1. You just cannot go, go, go on as little sleep as you did in your 20s. Trying this could cause a car wreck, divorce, unemployment, or all of the above.
2. I’ve found a new curiosity for “butt-lifting” workouts. The cheeks are heading south as quickly as gravity can pull ‘em down.
3. Stuff hurts way more when you’re thirty. I never knew my shoulder could ache so bad from doing NOTHING. Am I so old that I can’t turn my steering wheel now?! And running a half marathon sure didn’t make my achy hip feel any better…
4. Wine (a sweet white, thanks!) is a stressed gal’s best friend when the going gets rough. Nothing serious, just a glass every now and then to relax your supersonic mind from keeping you up all night. The other whine, you realize by this point, really does no good.
5. The pills I’m now taking (vitamins, supplements, and a daily anti-inflammatory – thanks, hard street for pushing such force against my poor, wittle 30 year old hips and knees) are slowly beginning to fill up my palm. No joke. I just check Facebook while I take one at a time. It takes a good five minutes as I try to avoid the gag reflex. I keep reading that I need this or that. It turns out that I may not be taking enough Vitamin D and that I should also be checking on if my mulitvitamin is giving me enough B Complex. Oh yeah, and green tea extract is supposed to help keep the fat off my droopy butt. Dang, the pile of pills keeps right on growing. And by the way, why are vitamins all the size of horse pills??? Are our throats getting bigger at this age? It seems the drug-makers think so!
6. I’ve found a new confidence and peace about choosing to listen to music I like rather than what’s popular or what’s just come out. Remember when you could only listen to the latest and hottest music or you were lame? Now, I download songs that came out in 2001 from an artist that I just discovered or some random folk-rock song that I am sure none of my friends would like and that my husband cocks an eyebrow up at, but I don’t care in the least!
7. If you’ve had a child, you can’t believe how old they’re getting. If you haven’t had a child, you start to wonder who’s going to take care of you when you wind up inevitably in the hospital for something or other as you age.
8. You begin to wonder if fine lines around the eyes will ever be “in.” Let’s start a beauty rumor that “eye dimples” are a must have this winter. No? Don’t think it’ll work? Hmmmmm…..
9. You begin to wonder when the gray hairs are going to hit. Oh, the salon bills I can see in my future! The color technician and I will become best friends.
10. Is there something about turning 30 that makes you more OCD, or is that just my personality flaw? This list must have ten items. Nine just won’t do. And this personality flaw leads me to another observation (no, this is NOT #11, it is just a continuation of #10, thank you!). Around this age, we begin truly evaluating ourselves. In our 20s, we denied that we were weird, prideful, incorrect, unreasonable, whatever. In our 30s, we begin to acknowledge and accept ourselves. Maybe by our 40s, we’ll actually try to start fixing it; and probably in our 50s, we’ll give up on that and go back to acceptance again.
To be continued…
Add to the list if you’re 30 (or beyond) and have other (slightly absurd) observations about turning 30!