Jamie and I have been debating this for a while now. Well, actually not debating it but confirming it with different instances that arise. It is so hard for me to concentrate on one thing at a time. In fact, I can’t think of a time when I really only concentrate on one thing. As I type this in Word, I’m checking Facebook, opening another blog document, and debating when to go in to work this morning, all before the first paragraph is finished! Maybe everyone does this.
I can’t read just one book from start to finish. I have at least five lying around my bedroom, because I get so bored, almost agitated, with reading just one. This was a terrible habit that I began to notice in grad school. Suddenly, I had to read an entire book from start to finish in a week for class. I would sit down to read, and before 30 minutes was up, I’d have laid down the book and jumped up to go where? I didn’t know. I just needed to get away from it. And that’s how it was nightly as I tried to get my work done. I think it’s one of the reasons I began running. That gave me a break from it. And writing papers? I wasn’t one who could wait until the last day or two to do it. It would take me a week or two to write one paper because my ideas were all over the place, and I was jumping up from the computer in frustration every 30 minutes or so or just minimizing it and concentrating on stuff on the Internet to get my mind off of it. Again, I’d feel agitated by doing one thing for so long, almost like someone was holding me down until I felt like I was fighting to get up. Strange, huh? Isn’t it funny that I chose running to “get away” from something that I felt was holding me down?
Monday, I went into my classroom, and there is so much to be done in there. I was running from one thing to another, getting half of this done and half of that done. Sometimes I just have to stop myself and say, “Finish this now,” or nothing will get done. Being like that is frustrating, because you rarely feel like you accomplish anything. Cleaning my house is the same way; I work on five different things but rarely ever get any one thing totally finished.
Is it really ADD? Probably not. It’s probably just a weird part of my personality that I’ll have to deal with and learn to adjust if I can. It certainly makes me more compassionate for the kids who really have ADD and have to try to sit still and concentrate on one thing at a time in school all day long. It must be a huge challenge.